I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
