You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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