I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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