i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
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