last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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