Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
