If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
