K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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