you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
