I never want to see another naked old woman again.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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