walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
My liver is preforming stress tests.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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