so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
