my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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