Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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