so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
i need some magic done to my vagina
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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