Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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