Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
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my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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