i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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