Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
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I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
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Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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