On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
