But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I touched a dick in church today
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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