Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
