I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
