chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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