if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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