Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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