how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
