quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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