I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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