Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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