If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
