Dual....:-)
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
