it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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