At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize