You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
