My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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