this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
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