Little spoons don't ask big questions
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
