Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
