i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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