Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
