we'll go far in life on tits alone.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
