Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
