I think my fart just growled at me.
and she was petting her beer can
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
This baby is an asshole
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
