And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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