having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner