1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA