Someone shit on the floor
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?