hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
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We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
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He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants