Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Enjoy the penises
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.