so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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