Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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