It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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