I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I had to cum in my sink.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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