Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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