You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
