Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
