so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
