So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
