i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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