I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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