we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
