Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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