He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
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he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
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We don't watch enough power rangers
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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