arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
