so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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