i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
When are your genitals available?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
