You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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