The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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