no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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